Everybody loves a long weekend, but this one isn't about the cookout or the kick-off of summer. It's a reckoning. It's about the people who died to make you free.
This doesn't mean your BBQ has to be somber or feel like a wake. Honor their memory by having the conversation AND having a good time.
Share the story. It all started after the Civil War. Women started decorating the graves of fallen soldiers, and they did it for those on both sides. It was a recognition of the loss and a reconciliation for the living. That says something about Americans, doesn't it? The holiday grew into a national day set aside specifically to honor those who died in military service. This is NOT Veteran's Day. That's in November. This day is for the ones who didn't come home. Say it out loud to your kids.
For the littles (ages 3-7), simply say that someone who loved their family said yes when America needed help, and they didn't get to come home. Take your kids out to hang up your flag. Take a trip to a cemetery, even just to walk quietly through. Let them place a flag. Make it physical and real.
For the 9-12 crowd, you can go a level deeper. Look up someone specific, maybe a Metal of Honor recipient, a soldier from your family or hometown, or a name off of a local memorial wall. Read the story together. What did they leave behind? What were they fighting for? Download my printable display and instructions page for a Missing Man Table. Have your kids help set it up and place the items with honor and respect. This age is old enough to appreciate sacrifice.
Teens can handle the full conversation. What does it mean to say that "Freedom isn't free?" Why do some people volunteer to put themselves in harm's way while others stay home? What would you do? Take one night on that weekend and watch the film Taking Chance, a true story about United States Marine Lieutenant Colonel Michael Strobl, who volunteered to escort the remains of 19-year-old Marine Lance Corporal Chance Phelps back to his hometown in Wyoming and make sure his fallen brother in arms made it safely home. You and the kids will be in awe of the care and respect shown for that brave young marine.
One simple tradition that changes the whole day.
At your cookout, before the first plate is filled, pause. Say the name of someone who served and didn't make it home. If you don't know one personally, look one up beforehand. A name, a face, a story. Then say thank you out loud, together, as a family.
It takes three minutes. It changes everything about the day.
Memorial Day is one of the holidays I cover in Home of the Brave, my book about raising kids who understand what this country is and what it cost. The chapter goes much deeper into the history, the traditions, and the conversations worth having at every age. But you don't need the book to start. You just need to decide that this year, the long weekend means something more than the weather forecast.
Your kids are watching. Make it count.